Thoughts…
Honest question. Would you rather have your dead corpse be eaten by a band of coconut crabs or a Nile monitor. I’ve been pondering this for hours now and can’t come to a final decision. There was this guy I read about who was found with his face and gut skinned by his monitor’s after he died of an infection. A crazy childlike sketch of the scene from a witness was used in the article that still burns in my mind. It looked like something from an Anal Cunt album cover. Apparently this bloke would just toss raw meat on his floor for the lizards to scoop up and eat. They must’ve mistaken his pale flesh for a snack, leading to his eventual demise.
I wonder what his last thoughts were, sitting against the kitchen cabinets as the monitors eyed him from a distance. A twisted part of me thinks he may have wanted his pets to consume him, knowing that they’d probably starve if let alone with no provider to give them meat. Did he know of the eventual scene others would come across when they searched the house? While he likely knew the outcome, not even a reptile hermit could imagine entering a kitchen to see his half skeletal face and torn abdomen sitting in a pool of blood. The man will forever be known by a crude drawing, showing the repulsive scene that had unfolded. It likely not the legacy he wanted, but the one he got regardless.
I’m not sure if I like the idea of becoming a meal for something I’d feed from doggy bowl with it’s name embroidered in pink glitter and call my “scaly buddy”. When exploring the coconut crab scenario, the circumstances seem just as bad. It’s theorized the Amelia Earhart’s remains where scattered by coconut crabs after she crash landed on some remote island. Imagine all the fascinating possibilities of her potential fate only for it to be that she was eaten by a band of giant crabs. Imagine struggling in the rubble of your plane, mostly immobilized and injured only to see these terrifying bastards approaching you with their beady eyes. What a doozy. I guess I might have to choose the Nile monitors over these guys. At least I’d care a bit about my beloved pets. Coconut crabs can suck my ass.
